In the Eye of the Beholder

By now, you all know that Ben finds a direct correlation between princesses and dresses...and I have to admit that I love that even in a maternity dress he still thinks I'm beautiful...well, sometimes he does.

We were watching TV last Saturday morning (shocker) while Brad was out playing golf, and a commercial for Playtex 18-hour bras came on. Ben was walking towards his train table in the next room when he stopped to stare at the TV [insert brake-screeching halt here]. I paused, skeptically waiting to see how/if he would react to the scantily clad, well-endowed woman on the screen. And he did.

"Ooo, Mommy--I like that."

Uh...how to react how to react what to say what to say...?

"Uh...bud? What do you like about...it?"

He simply said, "She's beautiful."

Well, this just blows the theory that only princesses in dresses are beautiful, but whatever. That was all that was said, so I figured we were finished with that semi-awkward and fully-hilarious parent/exploratory-child interaction.

And then a Diurex commercial came on. You know which one I'm talking about? There is a blond woman, during that 'unfortunate time of the month' who can miraculously fit into her skinny jeans, thanks to the anti-water weight pills...you're amazing Diurex!

"Ooo, Mommy--I like her." (You knew it was coming)

So, I asked again--now incredibly curious as to my son's standard of beauty--I mean, this lady had her clothes on, so what made her so pretty?

"She's beautiful."

I then began to question my own beauty, so I went out on a limb, assuming I knew the sweet answer.

"Hey, bud--is Mommy beautiful?"

He took one look at my Piggly Wiggly t-shirt and pink Soffe shorts and gave me the negative headshake. Well, crap.

But fear not, fair readers. We were getting ready to go to the bank later that morning so I grabbed a stretchy-waisted skirt and was getting ready to change into a t-shirt that didn't have dried chocolate ice cream on it and Ben saw me in my room...and gave me these priceless words of encouragement, complete with a thumbs-up.

"You're almost beautiful, Mommy!"

Almost only counts in hand grenades and horseshoes, kid. Thanks for nothin'.