Fat Boobies

By now, most of y'all know this story...but for those of you who don't, I'm going to share it.  Trust me--it's a good one.

A few months ago, I went to pick Ben and Lucie up from daycare, and I walked past the director's office and saw her having a serious conversation with Ben.  I heard her say, "Now, Ben, can you explain to me what you said that was inappropriate?" and I decided that I would just keep on walking and let them finish their conversation.  Walking down the hallway to Lucie's classroom, my mind was racing. What could he have said? What could I have said that he's now repeating? Oh crap...

We got to the car and I turned around in my seat.  "Ben, do you want to tell me what happened today?"  He shook his head.  He's the type of kid that just wants his punishment: tell me you're taking away my iPod or that I can't play outside...just don't make me talk about what I did!

But I wasn't giving in--we weren't leaving that parking lot until he told me what he had said that had warranted a trip to the 'principal's' office.  He took a deep breath...and dove right in:

"Well, I said 2 bad words.  The first bad word was fat..."

Now, my heart sank.  I would hate to think that he was being mean to another student or a teacher...but that just didn't sound like the Ben I know, so I chose to stay silent and let him finish his story...and frankly, I was more than a little anxious to find out what the second word was...

"...and the second bad word was boobies."

I had to fight off the urge to snicker.  At this age, of course there's playground talk and I'm sure that this word has been thrown around, along with other phrases and--

"But Mommy, that's not the worst part."

Uh...it's not?  Uh oh...

"I put them together in the same sentence.  I said 'fat boobies'."

Well, I couldn't let this go without some discussion--and let's be honest, I needed to distract myself from laughing hysterically at this.  I mean, I could see in his adorable face that he really felt bad about saying this...which he should have--it was entirely inappropriate.  But..I asked him why he said that...

"Well, I was reading the dragon book, and the princess had fat boobies."

No, I haven't seen said dragon book or said princess...  Yes, Ben was given a talking-to about appropriate language...  And heck yes I told my friends and we still use it as a catchphrase to this day.

One day, in the distant future, we'll tell Ben that he contributed to some pretty amazing humor--and kids really do say the darnedest things.  I like to think that these brief moments of hilariousness are just an added bonus of being a parent...and this will make one heckuva story somewhere down the road...I'm thinking high school graduation or rehearsal dinner. ;-)

Sweet Dreams...

I have never claimed to be the world's best mother, but I will give myself credit for one thing: I can stick to a routine, by golly. Especially when it comes to bedtime. Ask anyone--when Ben was little, come hell or high water, we were going to be home in time for his afternoon nap! Granted, when Lucie came along, I had loosened up a little bit when it came to our sleepy-time schedule...but not by much. Whatever--judge me all you want, but my kids know the drill when it comes to getting some shut-eye and I have to admit that I felt a little validated when I was quoted in the latest issue of Babytalk magazine on how valuable a bedtime routine can be!

But one thing is really throwing this drill sergeant for a loop: Lucie's entourage.

Now I know that kids all have their security blankets--literal and figurative. Teddy bears. Blankies. Pacifiers. We never really experienced this with Ben, and most kids I know have only one beloved token. But not our little diva. Care to meet the crew?

Boo
Ben went through his Blue's Clues phase a few years ago, and I remember searching high and low, at toy stores and online for a stuffed Blue. Finally, after finding one--it might have been in an airport gift shop!--he was excited for about 5 minutes and then Blue joined the pile of stuffed animals that sat in his toy hammock. A couple weeks ago, Lucie saw Blue...and luckily her older brother is very good at sharing, and we thought it was pretty cute that she had found her favorite stuffed animal. But "Boo" was only the beginning...

Melmo
I'm pretty sure that Elmo was Ben's, too. I swear--there is some innate magnetism between kids and Sesame Street. I can count on one hand the number of times I have actually changed the channel to the show, but Lucie just seemed to automatically know, recognize and love this furry, red guy. In fact, it was one of her first words: "Dada...Bubba...Mama...Melmo." Of course he takes a spot in the nighttime lineup.

Bunny...and Bunny
I actually like these 2, because I can pinpoint when she added them to the group. Ben had a book called "Hungry Bunny" and it seems appropriate that it's now Lucie's favorite book because, let's face it, she ain't starving. Well, for Easter, she got 2 stuffed bunnies, and they've been inseparable since. Both of them.

Puppy
She actually has several stuffed puppies--the first was a stuffed yellow lab from Uncle Chris who knew she lit up like a Christmas tree when she saw the DVD cover of "Marley and Me" and the second was from Ben who made and named Bandit for her at the Build-a-Bear store in North Carolina over Christmas. Both great puppies...but which one does she go with? The little stuffed puppy that Santa brought her...and Santa just happened to find it at a Starbucks when he had a craving for a gingerbread latte during some holiday shopping. Can't really blame her for that one--few can resist the draw of S'bucks.

Ni-Night and Pati
I am very grateful that these final items aren't exactly specific. Any ni-night (blanket) and pati (pacifier) will do at this point...as long as you have read "Hungry Bunny," "5 Little Ducks," "Peekabo Elmo" and at least one other book before laying her down with ALL of these things. Yes, you read that correctly: ALL of these things.

Yes, she's high maintenance. Yes, it's a pain to pack ALL of these up in her little tote bag (monogrammed, of course) to cart them all back and forth to daycare every day. But yes...it's pretty freakin' adorable to hear her calling roll every morning in her crib. "Boo? Melmo. Bunny? Bunny? Puppy. Ni-night? Pati."

I'm just glad her obsession is with stuffed animals...because I'm pretty sure in a few years, it will give way to shoes.