Thursday, October 4, 2012

Fat Boobies

By now, most of y'all know this story...but for those of you who don't, I'm going to share it.  Trust me--it's a good one.

A few months ago, I went to pick Ben and Lucie up from daycare, and I walked past the director's office and saw her having a serious conversation with Ben.  I heard her say, "Now, Ben, can you explain to me what you said that was inappropriate?" and I decided that I would just keep on walking and let them finish their conversation.  Walking down the hallway to Lucie's classroom, my mind was racing. What could he have said? What could I have said that he's now repeating? Oh crap...

We got to the car and I turned around in my seat.  "Ben, do you want to tell me what happened today?"  He shook his head.  He's the type of kid that just wants his punishment: tell me you're taking away my iPod or that I can't play outside...just don't make me talk about what I did!

But I wasn't giving in--we weren't leaving that parking lot until he told me what he had said that had warranted a trip to the 'principal's' office.  He took a deep breath...and dove right in:

"Well, I said 2 bad words.  The first bad word was fat..."

Now, my heart sank.  I would hate to think that he was being mean to another student or a teacher...but that just didn't sound like the Ben I know, so I chose to stay silent and let him finish his story...and frankly, I was more than a little anxious to find out what the second word was...

"...and the second bad word was boobies."

I had to fight off the urge to snicker.  At this age, of course there's playground talk and I'm sure that this word has been thrown around, along with other phrases and--

"But Mommy, that's not the worst part."

Uh...it's not?  Uh oh...

"I put them together in the same sentence.  I said 'fat boobies'."

Well, I couldn't let this go without some discussion--and let's be honest, I needed to distract myself from laughing hysterically at this.  I mean, I could see in his adorable face that he really felt bad about saying this...which he should have--it was entirely inappropriate.  But..I asked him why he said that...

"Well, I was reading the dragon book, and the princess had fat boobies."

No, I haven't seen said dragon book or said princess...  Yes, Ben was given a talking-to about appropriate language...  And heck yes I told my friends and we still use it as a catchphrase to this day.

One day, in the distant future, we'll tell Ben that he contributed to some pretty amazing humor--and kids really do say the darnedest things.  I like to think that these brief moments of hilariousness are just an added bonus of being a parent...and this will make one heckuva story somewhere down the road...I'm thinking high school graduation or rehearsal dinner. ;-)

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